Good Vibe

Disclaimer - Some of the content below should never be taken seriously or reported to animal or child abuse authorities. Go ahead and read on your own risk.

My place of birth is *unknown.* My beloved parents’ TWO different theories when asked repeatedly by law enforcement don’t match! Normally mothers should be trusted on the subject based on the saying that all of us are mama's BABY, and papa's MAYBE. Guess what? My FATHER has a stronger case than her!

The story goes this way - This night in the dark of the moon, my father, and he really feels bad about it NOW, left me to survive on my own. He told me that he tossed me in a sack and throw it away. He knew that in the wild, I would fit and no one will point and laugh. The sack was picked up by gypsies and carried away. Upon opening the sack and seeing my obvious uniqueness, they claimed, they immediately released me saying they couldn’t keep such a prize for themselves, but must let it wander free about the world, quickly and without argument. There, I was raised by a pack of wolves in the outback.

 Just after I left the wild, I had a short but rewarding experience with a traveling circus, where I got top billing as the wolf faced kid, where my parents found me again. Soon after and unexpectedly, my father was taken away from me as he was walking near the shore, drawn strangely by the sound of mysterious drumming, when a huge wild hog rushed out in a panic and ran him down and never looked back. Before he died, he told me that once he had a brief encounter with her majesty, our good Queen Anne. By the grace of all gods, approached with this knowledge, his Majesty would most certainly deny any rendezvous with his queen and my good father. I chose to keep it quiet to myself so I can keep my head over my shoulder. Priorities, you know. The king will deal severely with anyone who would so boldly confront him, threatening as a result his title "Defender of the Faith" or his good standing with her Majesty the Queen, my REAL mother.

Whatever the real story was, it became evident from an early age that there was something different about me; I showed severe signs of not taking anything too seriously. By the time I was ten years old, my other mother, Cecile D’Mille (Heaven bless her and I hope she will like the name I gave her in this heart-to-heart conversation we are having right now), this behavior was becoming of some concern to her; she presented me to God in many forms known to people to save me before it’s too late. As you may see from trying as hard as I can to come across as a "reasonable" person, it was way TOO LATE.

The lessons I learned were not without value however. I learned and understood the obligation the gods spoke of to share one’s blessing with those less fortunate who take life too seriously. At least I tried! When my attitude about life was cited by the Pope as cure for atheism, I decided there was no turning back. I actually thought my attitude can rank as second only to WWII as a cure for sadness, loneliness, or being so serious but who am I to argue with the Pope. Any way, I’ve been taught to never hold with passion on any major or serious BAGGAGE or issue. That said, I still own Gucci-issue handbag that I'll lose soon. Oh, it's nothing kiddo! These medications really work.

Sweet Cecile, don’t give up easily. She tried one last time when I was 18 years old to straight my unserious behavior by trying to better me through a series of electrolysis and academic classes where I was told by professors and for no apparent reason, at least for me, that I don’t need to attend any classes if I wished. I took advantage and showed them my face rarely. And not surprisingly passed their exams easily. I still like to believe that the reason of my passing wasn’t because they didn’t like me to such a degree that they let me pass just to avoid seeing me again.

Well, fortunately, I came to the point where most people believe that I did them a big favor by keeping my real behavior to my best friends and the people I like.

Still interested in more? Okay! Man of quest, of course intelligent but oops! HORRIBLY unattractive. This shortcoming forced me to develop a great personality that hopefully I'll complete in this lifetime. My current friends (well, the few who have been left) never mentioned (at least to me) that they saw anything flashing over my head said loser. And Uh-huh, I believe them. My ex's: well, um, we still good. None of them have a restraining order put out on me (yet).

I’ve been told that people always want to know something about who writes these blogs; I didn’t want to disappoint by writing a boring one. That said, I’m not sure the lighthearted groupie-info metaphor biography, although absolutely true, quenched your thirst or made you thirstier (whichever came first, you are most welcome).

Two favors before I conclude: First; I hope no one will tell my misunderstood mother -Sweet Cecile- that I told you about the wilderness story including any possible role from her side in it, otherwise I may face the possibility of never again getting to experience her warm embraces and may be harshly excluded from her will which is not a good thing for HER because now her only wish in life is that I inherit her $10,000+ savings. Go figure!

And finally second, you may wonder about the way I described my up-bringing with wolves (not that there's anything wrong with that), should I mention that although I am fairly active but in rather odd activities especially during a full moon, I don’t rollover, beg, fetch, howl, play dead (uh, well very few mornings I only look dead. I'd like mornings better if they started later) or heal, so please don’t ask.

If you reach this point! -Don't worry, I won't tease you anymore- Actually, I believe you are not only have a good sense of humor but also can make a good friend. If you stopped walking on a tightrope, pushing water with a fork and almost done building a levee deep inside when the waters run high, please and by all means feel free to drop me a comment or flash me one of your cute winks and I'll take it from there. Click here to contact me. Money back guarantee test-drive. ;)

GoodVibe
The wolf faced kid

PS. No copyrights will be granted cause if the word spread, I don’t know what will be my fate if his majesty know about my whereabouts. So please keep it between us.

And for those who think that my inflated ego is second to none, this bio is their evidence, which I give permission to be linked when they wish to state that factoid about me in their comments, to their girlfriends, neighbors, friends, the UN, human rights, amnesty, and the red cross. Although I will warn them not to show it to their girlfriends or they will lose them in short order.